Where it started

This is a very sad story and all of it is from my actual life.
I married the star football player of Centreville Michigan right out of high school. I was home schooled and had missed all the high school drama. I was in awe of him. He was so tough and a bit of a rebel. He smoked, drank and had used marijuana. He said lots of words I had never heard of before. There is something exciting about those bad boys. We dated and Josh told me about sex, movies, music and kissing just to name a few. (I had grown up very sheltered.)
At the time I thought we had a decent marriage. I loved him so much. I spent my time making sure that he was happy. Mean while I cried myself to sleep most nights. We eventually had two beautiful children, Mikayla and Jacob. Mikayla was a bouncy, giggly, smiley and fun little girl. She was such an easy baby and toddler. She was always so happy. Jacob was so independant. He wanted to use tools ever since he could sit up. He was so sweet and cuddly. He always looks out for other people and helps when ever he can. He would sit in your lap for hours if you let him.
I was brought up to believe that a good wife does what ever her husband asks even at the expense of her dignity. My husband Josh watched a lot of pornography. I didn't think it bothered me so I went a long with it because that's what he wanted. He convinced me that it makes our marriage more exciting. He even asked me to join a wife swapping ring in Centreville. Luckly I did the rebelous wife thing and said "no". Josh worked at a trailer factory in Mottville Michigan and he was a reserve deputy at the sheriffs department. During our marriage Josh per sued his dreams and I supported him as a good wife should. I made sure I was home keeping dinner hot. I helped him get dressed in the morning. I went out to start his truck every morning so it would be warm when he got in it. He was very faithful about going to work every day and providing for the financial needs of the family. I greatly appreciate that. He did not however help with the kids in any way. All of their needs I took care of. He had rarely been there for me and my emotional needs and he rarely went anywhere with the children and I. He did not want to "baby sit" while I went to get groceries. He did not want me to work outside the home or per sue any of my dreams. But over the years things had started to get better. Josh did a few things with the kids and I that year and he was more in tuned to my needs. He still didn't help with the children thou. I was falling in love with him all over again. Five years into our marriage on a hot Sunday in August Josh called me home from my parents house because he wanted to 'talk'. I was so excited that he wanted to talk to me. Him wanting to talk didn't happen very often. I rushed home with my heart thumping and my cheeks blushing with excitement. When I got home I happily sat next to him on the couch. He grabbed me and hugged me and said Lizzy, I have feelings for someone else and I don't know what to do. My world came crashing down. A ball of lead formed in my stomach. My throat was choking me. I wanted to cry but there were no tears, just shock. I felt like I had been hit. I sat calmly and stared at him. I said what do you mean you don't know what to do? You need to put it out of your mind because it is not an option. He told me it was Shellie Bacon. I had heard of her before because she and one other girl were the only two females that worked at the factory. Josh had mentioned having some conversations with her on break along with the other girl and a bunch of Josh's friends. I had asked one night when Josh and I were snuggling if she was cute. He said "oh God no"! "Not near as cute as you and he tapped me on the nose. You have nothing to worry about". Several months later he is telling me that he has feelings for her. (to be continued)